Laod? Not much!

We’re back in civilization! If you’ve been worrying about our lack of updates I apologise on behalf of the northern Lao, who haven’t bothered to set up their internet yet. It’s probably not their fault though, I bet you BT have cocked up their change of address and they’re still on hold with technical support.

So without the ability to play Bejewelled or check on West Ham’s misfortunes we decided to get out into the fresh air and do some outsdoorsy stuff. Our first stop was Luang Namtha, a town that seems to have changed quite a bit since our 2006 Lonely Planet edition was published, so the bus station was not in fact 200m from the centre but 10k. Seems the Ministry of Transport moved it to give the tuk-tuk drivers something to do.

I can't blame them, not only does it give them an income but also something to do in the freezing cold. At night Polly slept in a pair of leggings, tracksuit bottoms, three t-shirts, a jumper and a delightful Lao fleece she had to buy in a fit of panic about the temperature.

We signed up for a day’s trekking which gave us our first taste of really being in the middle of nowhere. Great for us, not so great for the girl who decided to do the four hours up a mountain in flip-flops.

Some of the money for the trip goes to a village in the mountains, but don’t worry, I won it back from some kids in a game of Kataw. I was pretty amazing but this is the best Polly could do to capture the moment.

It would seem she was more interested in taking pictures of all the baby animals than watching me making mugs of the small children.

We also got on the bikes to see the surrounding area for ourselves, it’s a stunning setting and the hundredth Wat we‘ve seen even managed to provoke some interest.

Next to Nong Khiaw on the dustiest public bus on the planet. Not only did we get bronchitis but also enjoyed the entertainment from the driver, smoking away at the wheel and stopping off to buy a lovely set of brushes. Nong Khiaw is built on the River Ou between sheer mountainside and is breathtaking. By way of punishment for this pleasure we had to stay in a bamboo box, which claimed to come with a shower. It might more accurately have been called a drizzle.

We took a bit of downtime here but you can’t just get drunk all day (so Polly says) and we went off for a wander, encountering a herd of water buffalo appear out of nowhere while we were investigating a pond full of water lilies and stumbling on a cave that the Lao used to live in while the area was being bombed. I must have made quite an impression, they made me Chief of the Cabinet!

Word quickly spread about my appointment and I was invited to play football in the town square; apparently it’s a requirement for any incoming cabinet member.

Although the rocks on the pitch made slick passing a little tricky, the mountainous scenery made it feel like we were playing at the Nou Camp, albeit with trees for fans. Sadly, an heroic effort to stop the ball going out of play left me with a graze on my ankle and, as is tradition when I go abroad, the wound’s got infected and now I’m injecting iodine into it every ten minutes.

The following day we took a longboat up to Muang Ngoi Neua, which is inaccessible other than by river. They pack the tourists on like cattle on these little beauties, but my new VIP status meant Polly and I were granted the best seats on the boat. We didn't realise how significant this was till we hit the rapids and everyone got drenched but us. Result!

Even more stunning than Nong Khiaw, we only stayed on for one night; this had nothing to do with the town alarm clock, which involved some bloke banging a drum for ten minutes at four in the morning. He even had a little trick where he’d leave out a couple of beats every now and again to lull you back to sleep. The snooze button of the rural world if you will.

So that’s it, an incredibly painful four hour journey on the back of a truck and we’re here in Luang Prabang. It’s a bigger place than we’re used to but very laid back, we’re going to look at more Wats, go see a waterfall and then relax vigorously. We haven’t had a massage in days.