Tickets, systems and disrespecting local culture

From the calm of Luang Prabang to the storm of Vang Vieng, the would be Ibiza of southeast Asia if it was made of bungie jumps, zip wires and wooden huts giving away booze and selling lots of ‘happy’ drinks. Not that the girl running around screaming for an ambulance seemed that happy, nor the girl we saw as soon as we stepped on the river bank who was passed out and surrounded by people we can only assume were trying to put her in the recovery position.

We arrived late in the afternoon and the fun was already well underway so we skipped the first couple of bars where everyone was grinding in bikinis like it was 3am at a rave. We got ourselves a bucket of gin and watched the Aussies go for it. I would have liked to have shown them a thing or two but was a little bit poorly so we left without so much as a sniff of a rubber ring.

This picture sums things up nicely.

We only stayed two days, the second of which we tried to find a blue lagoon about 6k from our hut. What we actually found was an impassable road with a girl putting up a sign with skull and crossbones on it and the words ‘Danger, death, explosion…’. We tried to go up anyway but a very persuasive dog convinced us not to. Dan’s traveling tip: If a dog comes at you barking, do not confront it and then run away. We didn’t get to the lagoon, but we did get to explore a cave with a couple of entrepreneurial kids who took us to a Buddha in the depths. Why was it there? No idea.

Vang Vieng was our first encounter with the mystical Laos ticketing system. Pedestrians are charged for crossing the river bridge and in exchange get a nicely printed ticket. So far so good and on our return we handed in the ticket to cross back. Apparently the ticket system is no match for the eagle-eyed attendant who accused us of having crossed twice on the same ticket already. Anyone involved in ticket distribution/collection can feel free to correct me, but in my opinion the system should be quite simple – pay and collect a ticket one way, return it on the other. I tried explaining this in my calmest manner for about five minutes before falling back to wild gesticulation and finally getting waved through.

Next morning we headed for the capital city Vientiene. Highlights included buying antibiotics without a prescription, finding a cash machine that didn’t charge and this wonderful decorative chandelier on the VIP bus.

I should have saved the camera for our next trip though, the sleeper bus to Pakse. ‘King of Buses’ claimed the disco lights on the back of the bus. King of Cramp more like, We’d got the last beds on the bus but were a little disappointed to find it was no bigger than a single bed. We hoped that a couple of people might not have made it so we could snatch another one but the bus filled out and we settled in. Dan’s travelling tip: If you ever get a sleeper bus alone, buy two seats. If we thought we had it bad we felt a lot better when the 6’5” bloke above us realised he had to share the bed with another lanky man he didn’t know.

We allowed ourselves a little giggle but no more. Some Aussie chaps gave us a couple of valium for the journey but I found a bottle of whisky (70p!) worked just as well.

Safely deposited at Pakse we decided to do a bit of shopping and Polly found herself a right bargain; three knickers for 80p! Probably should have washed them first though, she’s got dyed zebra pattern all over her bottom now.

There’s not much to do in the town except have a sunset drink on one of the roof terraces but the main reason for stopping over was to visit Wat Phu Champasat. It’s a Khmer temple dating back to the 5th century built on the side of what was described as a ‘phallic’ mountain. They must have had some weird phalluses back then. A gruelling climb up the steepest steps in the world was well worth it, the ruins and the view from the sanctuary at the top were amazing, we’d definitely recommend a stop if ever you come to this part of the world.

We’ve just arrived at Don Khon, one of the 4,000 islands on the Mekong River at the southern end of Laos and we’ve got sunshine, hammocks and beaches. The trial to be passed in getting here? Buying a ticket for the boat at the boat ticket office, only for the boat ticket office to tell you it’s not valid and expecting you to pay again. Some would say another flaw in the ticketing operation but five minutes of calm discussion followed by wild arm gesticulation once again gets the job done.